Do bears bear?
Do bees be?
Do ducks duck?
Do flies fly?
Does Spock beam up?


Rob Brydon: I have a friend who’s quite short, and he likes to wear vertical stripes because they make him look taller.

David Mitchell: Only when he’s not standing next to anyone. It’s not, it’s not going to make him look taller than a taller man. It’s all relative. It’ll just, it’ll just say there’s a normal sized man next to an enormous man! And oh thank god he’s taken his striped shirt off, it’s actually a tiny man next to a normal man!

Stephen Fry: I’ve missed your angry logic David.

image

David Mitchell: ..I think it just alternates, doesn’t it? For ages you think, okay vertical stripes make people look thinner, then you say, oh she’s wearing vertical stripes therefore she must be fatter than she looks. Therefore you start thinking, oh she looks fat cause she’s wearing vertical stripes, and so suddenly horizontal stripes start making you look thin because, oh she must be thin or she’d never dare wear horizontal stripes. Then they go, oh horizontal stripes make you look thinner.. oh she must be fat, she’s wearing horizontal stripes!

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    And I have to say, if my friend Beccy was a comedian, she would be David Mitchell - so adorable, yet SO ANGRY SOMETIMES
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    David Mitchell’s rants
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